Oranges, oh my!

Orange juice, oranges, orange flavored soda.... Mmmmm. I am ingesting it like crazy!! I say that as I sit here with 2 oranges on my desk that I can't get into because I forgot to bring something to cut them with. Bleh. Every morning, it's been at least 1, most of the time 2 glasses of OJ. I have had an orange about every other day. Oranges just make me drool right now. I suppose that's my body's way of saying "Yay Vitamin C!!!!". Vitamin C is good for the immune system ya'll!

Next doctor appointment : March 7. Be expecting video that evening. I'm super looking forward to hearing Peanut's heartbeat for the first time. I was browsing Craigslist the other day and saw a prenatal doppler on there for $65. It would be extremely neat to be able to hear my little one's heartbeat whenever I wanted. At around 20 ish weeks, I should be able to hear it with just a stethoscope, which I so conveniently happen to have. I'll hold off and just cry that much more when I see and hear it for the first time. Although, even though it's completely normal in early pregnancy before you can feel the baby moving, I have times where I just wonder... Is this real? Is this really happening? Is my baby still ok? Am I still pregnant? Have I miscarried and just haven't started bleeding yet? There's also the holding out and waiting because I am so scared something is going to go wrong. If I take too much Tylenol for a headache, am I going to miscarry? If I have sex, is the motion going to hurt Peanut? Should I go ahead and buy bigger pants since mine are starting to feel tight so I don't hurt the baby? I'm hoping a lot of my fears will be abolished when I see Peanut's heartbeat.

Happy times, I just got an email from TheBump.com informing me that today is 9 weeks. Yes, yes it is. Today I am 9 weeks pregnant. Peanut gets a new designation this week. He/she is no longer an embryo but has graduated to fetus status! Peanut is also about the size of a green olive. Aww. My uterus should now be about the size of an orange (which is funny to me since I crave oranges so much). It suggests looking into buying a maternity bra if mine doesn't feel so great anymore. Well, I sort of demolished my favorite and most comfortable bra to make it even more comfortable. I totally said screw it and took the underwire out of it, and man it's super comfy now. Love it!

My pants are starting to get too tight around the lower abdomen area, which is where I wear the waistbands of my pants. It's usually after I eat a meal, so I'm sitting here after lunch with my pants unbuttoned. I've been doing that a lot in class lately, but I doubt anyone notices. If they do, they write it off as pregnancy so you know, it's fine. I feel so super bloated after lunch, and I'm not eating as much now as I did pre-pregnancy. I honestly can't eat a full meal anymore without feeling sick. There's just no room, and I'm not complaining. I've lost weight since I got pregnant. I know, I know. People say that's a no no, or they chock it up to morning sickness. Mine is neither. Mine is just simply not eating as much at one time, but eating a lot throughout the day.

Some days, the nausea is sooooo bad, but most of the time it's good, or it's just a little so it's manageable. This past Wednesday was HORRIBLE, but I attribute that to not eating any protein at breakfast. Every other day I have had either a Carnation Instant Breakfast (yum) or a sausage and biscuit or something else with meat. I think that's why most days I just have a little nausea with little to no vomiting. Wednesday though.. Ugh. I vomited twice. Once at school in the middle of the lecture (thankfully I was alone in the bathroom when it happened and Grubbsy came in while I was in recovery mode), and once at a flippin gas station. Oh well, just reinforces the whole "eat protein in the morning" thing.

I'm looking forward to this weekend! Shaun and Amy are coming up from Conway to spend the night and hang out with us before Shaun leaves for the Navy. Then, on Sunday, John and I are going to go over to a la casa de Brooke y Aaron for cooking and hanging out. Then clinicals start on Monday. :) Monday is going to be a long, long day what with water aerobics at 8:30 am, validations for NG tubes from 10-12, then clinicals from 1-9:30 pm. Phew, at least I get to sleep in Tuesday morning!

That's all from Shandiland for tonight. This roast is smelling soooo good even though I literally just ate like, an hour ago, and I have some last minute things to do before the company gets here tonight. Enjoy your weekend peoples!

226 Days to Go

Today is 7 weeks, 5 days. Only 32 weeks, 2 days to go!

The nausea is going away again, so that's happy times. The fatigue is getting worse. The boob pain is getting worse, but it's a great sign so I'm ok with it. My eczema on my legs has been popping up a lot lately. I don't know if it's because my skin is so uber dry or if it's the hormones or what. I do know a way to treat that rather quicklike though, so whatevs. The aversion to certain foods has started. I honestly can't handle the pictures or TV ads for McDonald's angus burger and wrap (puke) and Burger King's jalapeno and cheese burger (puke). Also, I am the self proclaimed Queen of Whole Hog because I absolutely love it. However, I can't handle the thought or smell of those ribs now that I'm prego. I can't take straight water either. I'm not sure why, but I just can't.

The food cravings have started somewhat. They aren't bad or weird, but they are there. I'm mostly craving salty stuff and cheese. Yum, cheese. I ate one of those little things of nacho cheese from Taco Bell last night without the chips. Yeah, I just dipped my finger in the container and ate it. Yum. I've been craving cereal, too. Lunch yesterday was a bowl of Frosted Flakes, 5 cheesesticks with marinara sauce, and a bottle of chocolate milk. Yum. I didn't even mind the weird looks. Also, juice. Lots of juice. I've been having 2 large orange juices from McDonald's in the mornings. I was sad when I went to the vending machine that was out of OJ. I ended up with a Fuze Banana Colada instead. No, not the alcoholic one. I'm not stupid ya'll!

I went to the doctor Monday, and we talked about restrictions and stuffs while I'm pregnant. I'm very sad that I can't have rare or medium rare meat. That means no steak, or overcooked steak which, to me, is worse than no steak. Also, for car or plane rides lasting longer than 3 hours, I have to stop and take a walk every 3 hours. My trips home to visit are going to take longer than 5 hours now since I can't drive straight through. It works out though, because I happen to have an awesome Grandma in law and Aunt in law that live at the halfway point who are always up for a visit. The trip I'm wanting to take to Florida this summer will take a heck of a lot longer since it's a 12 hour drive. It's not a big deal though. No lifting more than 20 pounds means I need a rolling backpack. I can have sex (woohoo!!). I also informed the doctor about my choice to have a doula. Sweet action.

My next appointment and ultrasound is March 7. Brooke is going with John and I because we're going to get to see the baby's heartbeat. Yay!! I'm sooooooooooooo excited for it! Apparently, at one point, I'll be able to hear the baby's heartbeat with just my stethoscope. Lucky me, I happen to have a stethoscope at home. ;)

Mom told me this morning she's planning a baby shower around there for July 16th area. If you're in the Jonesboro area and want to go, let me know so I can get your address to her for an invitation. I'm pretty sure a super awesome chick named Savannah already laid claim to planning a baby shower for up around here.

Peanut's room is painted and waiting for my awesome mother in law to come do her mural. It's BRIGHT yellow right now, but it's super pretty. I'm glad it's painted and out of the way so I don't have to worry about that later as I'm trying to get other stuff for the baby's room. I have the crib bedding already that is super cute, so mostly it's just furniture and decorations. We have a super great furniture man, so I'm going to go browse his collections before too long.

I'm working on registries right now. So far, I'm registered at Target and Babies R Us. Wal-Mart will be added soon. None of them have much on them right now, but I'm slowly getting there which is fine because we have some time. If anyone wants me to register anywhere else, just let me know and I'll set it up. I still need to look at the JcPenny website to see what they have, and Sears has a definite chance of making the list. I'm pretty sure you just have to search either mine or John's name to see them.

I'm taking next semester off from nursing school and coming back in January. I talked to the administrator about my pregnancy, and we agreed that it would be for the best if I did that. It puts off graduation by only 3 months, so not a big deal. On the plus side, my graduation and Cynthia's graduation will no longer conflict! I was pretty worried about that, but now it's no worries!

I could really go for a nap right now. Only 2.5 more hours until I'm out of school for the day.

Hormone Central

Oh my Jesus. What a day... Wow.

My clinical instructor? Not a fan. I got SUPER pissed when she pushed my hand out of the way while I was doing my IV resource with the fake arm so she could make a point... Ok, I get that you want to show us something, but shouldn't you get an IV cath and do it yourself to show us? 1) I'm not 4 years old so don't slap my hand away from my business, and 2) that's my VERY LIMITED resource time and equipment to practice sticking a fake arm with needles so when it comes to putting an IV in my partner next week, I'll be able to hit the vein. I mean, really. I had 2 IV caths to practice with today, and she totally screwed up one of my attempts because she wanted to show everyone that you can just leave it laying there and not have to hold onto the hub of the catheter (which is BS anyway. No way in hell am I just going to let it sit there without holding on, because I don't want to have to stick that person again when it falls out, and it will!). Then, when I calmly state that I would like to just go through the motions on trach care, there's no reason to interrupt me by making comments like "well, I'm sure she won't forget to break sterile field" (or something to that effect) when I hadn't actually broken my field... I just left one hand ungloved to pour stuff into my field, because if I was already fully gloved, touching that bottle would break my field anyway... And then, when I do it like she instructs us the day before, I get in trouble. Bleh. Whatever.

The other pregnant chick? So. Effing. Over. Her. Seriously. Yeah, I'm fucking pregnant too, but that doesn't mean I am gonna be snappy and bitchy at someone because she's seriously just relaying a message. Don't be snappy because I've already been to the doctor and you haven't, and really. Really. REALLY don't be snappy with me because all I fucking did was say "hey, so have you seen (name removed for protective purposes) to talk about your pregnancy and nursing school? I just talked to her because there's some stuff she needs and stuff ya'll have to work out like I did." That is NOT the time to go off because "why is everyone telling you this?! Why can't the instructors tell me?! I just don't understand why everyone is so helpful for you and no one cares about me!" Uh, maybe because you're FUCKING CRAZY? Just a thought. Calm the fuck down kid. Also, really? You've had a kid before and you don't know that the age of the fetus won't actually give you an opportunity to count back and find the exact day you conceived? I suppose since you broadcasted EVERYWHERE that you don't know who the baby's daddy is, you probably are pretty damn worried. Ugh.

On the plus side, I love my friends. Grubbsy, Savannah, Rochelle, Amanda Martin, Joshy, Ashley, Brooke. You guys are super amazing.

Oh, by the way, when birth time comes around, if you see an older blond chick getting manhandled out of my room by Rochelle because she was trying to stick an IV in me, don't worry about it. Rochelle is just saving my veins, like any great doula and friend would. ;)

Emotions

Wow. Today has been super emotional. Maybe it's the sleep deprivation.. I'm almost positive the hormones have something to do with it. Maybe it's just me being me, but whatever. Emotions are high today.

This is Peanut! He/she is snuggled down in my uterus where he/she should be. This has been the highlight of my day! Seeing my first child for the first time brought tears to my eyes and kept a smile on my face since. The ultrasound lady is so amazingly super nice! She was gentle, understanding, and she kept the lights low for privacy and comfort. Since it was an internal ultrasound, things were a little crazy anyway... If you don't know what an internal ultrasound is, well. Time to find out. The machine has a "wand" looking apparatus that has a cover that looks like a condom that goes over it to protect it. This goes inside the vagina to get an internal view, since some things can't be seen as easily from the outside. As soon as she started sliding this "wand" in, before she even got it in place, she said "I see a pregnancy in the uterus." I couldn't stop smiling. John asked a TON of questions like how did she know and what's that. She took the measurements and determined that today is 5 weeks, 5 days pregnant. She found a cyst on my left ovary, but said that with my history of cysts on my left ovary, she's not concerned. And it's not big, so you know. No biggie.

Next up was seeing the doctor. He caught me on my way out of the ultrasound room (when I thought I was still going home) and looked at the picture. I could tell by the look on his face that he loves his job. When setting up my appointment to see him, the desk clerk just sent me back to him since he didn't have many patients today due to weather and I was already there. We talked for a minute, then we did the dreaded annual pap smear because I'm overdue.. Bleh. John got to witness that also, which was HILARIOUS. I was stripping off my clothes, and he's getting all worried. It was cute, him asking if I preferred a female doctor down there. Well, babe, it's purely clinical, and if he's going to be the one to deliver, he's going to see it all anyway. And he's seen it before, because it's not my first visit with him.... But you're still super cute. So I had to explain what's about to go down and that this doctor is about to all kinds of feel me up. The doc tried to keep himself between me and John while doing the feeling the boobs thing, which was probably good. All in all that only took like, 5 minutes so no biggie.

Now I'm sitting here at home, hanging out. I cleared out the closet in the baby's room which was no small task mind you. I need to get the bookshelves moved out of there and put in my office, then I can start taping off and having John paint. He thinks we have plenty of time, and we do. But Peanut will be here before we know it, so I'm more concerned with getting things done NOW while I still feel like doing them. I think we'll start working on baby purchases super soon. Nothing big yet, but a pack or two of diapers a week starting now will make sure we are super stocked and isn't a bad thing. I mean, we're going to be using diapers, so you know. It also allows us to spread out purchases of certain things so we're not buying everything last minute. Plus, I need to get the room painted so my awesome mother in law can come do the mural she's wanting to do!

With all the highs today, I did have a pretty big low. I felt the rush of sadness over losing the one last summer all over again. We never even got to see that baby, or where it was. I'm glad this one is safe and sound, and I know going through that loss will only make me stronger, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to go through that loss. Loss is hard, ya'll. I think it's worse when it's your very first pregnancy. Oh well, things are different this round.

I can't wait for these next 34 weeks to go by! I am looking forward to holding Peanut in my arms!

Feeling a tiny bit overwhelmed...

So, earlier today if you had asked me if I knew what I wanted to happen during Peanut's birth, I would've been able to give you a definite 100% answer. Now, I have realized there is so much more that I need to consider. Luckily, I'm starting at 6 weeks to figure out a birth plan instead of waiting for the very last second. I also have a super amazing lady who I'm going to ask to be my doula to help me figure these things out. Yes, Rochelle, I'm talkin bout you sister!

First off, why a doula? Well, for those of you who don't know, Rochelle is SUPER passionate in all things birth. She's also super knowledgeable, and she's not afraid to do exactly what a doula does : ADVOCATE for her client (in this case, me). If I say I don't want any pain meds and there's no medical reason for me to have them, she's going to get in that pill pusher's face and tell him/her to back the H off. Then if I start screaming for the drugs, she's going to drag that pill pusher into my room kicking and screaming. ;) Yes, John can do this too, but really, I don't want John leaving my side through this whole thing. I think it would be super great to have 2 amazing coaches, John and Rochelle, and then everyone else who comes to see me too. Rochelle also knows all about natural childbirth. I mean, the woman is a walking encyclopedia of birth. She's going to be able to show John how to touch and hold me, and together they can help me get into positions that will facilitate labor while decreasing pain. Rochelle and John are gonna be the 2 who know my birth plan in and out, and neither one of them will be scared to say "Hey. This is how we're doing it if there's no real medical need to do it a different way."

So I was reading one of Rochelle's links today on facebook about birth plans, and thought "oh my geez, I never thought to look at a sample birth plan online..." Sooooo I did. Wow. I have a LOT of stuff to work through and figure out. First thing I'm going to have to do is come up with questions and scenarios to take to the hospital to talk to an actual Labor and Delivery nurse who can answer me. For instance, I do NOT want my child to be out of my room unless there is a medical need. I want to be able to warm my child skin on skin instead of Peanut laying under a heat lamp without anyone holding him/her. If my child needs to go to the nursery, I want John to be glued to that baby's side so he can step in and say "nuh uh, don't you give that baby a bottle or I will sue you from here until the next century" or give consent for things like the standard blood tests, etc. I know for sure I have 2 other BIG questions for the hospital. If they give me answers I really, really don't like, it's almost a guarantee I will at least be checking out different hospitals around. A home birth honestly terrifies me, but if it comes down to it that that's the only way I'm going to get anywhere near the experience I'm looking for, it may happen. I'm not one of those "throw her on her back and tell her to shut up" kind of people. No. Effing. Way.

So I started a birth plan. Well, I have a "I clicked these boxes and this is what I got" birth plan. Hey, I had to start somewhere. Having a general idea of where to start, I can start formulating questions to give to my doctor tomorrow at my very first prenatal appointment AND ultrasound (yay!!!!!). And you know, if he's not willing to work with me, then I'm not willing to work with him, plain and simple.

Writing about how overwhelming formulating a birth plan feels right now helps me say "yeah. Alright. Not so bad. I can do this!" I felt so passionate about my sister's birth and everything I absolutely hated about it. I was told then "well, it's just how things work. You kinda have to do it. You don't have a choice." B. S. I'm 2 years older now and KNOW better. Just because no one took the time to ask her doesn't mean I won't make someone make the time for me.

Another super passionate post about my pregnancy here in Shandiland! I swear, they won't all be about Peanut, but it's kind of hard not to talk about the little critter in my belly. :)

Controversy, how lovely art thou!

Side note before we get started... I was SUPER rude to someone today. I would feel bad if this person weren't who she was. Look, I know you're pregnant also. I know you're due around the same time I am. However, I really don't like you and think you're batshit crazy. Also, I've been dealing with a cold and morning sickness and being SUPER EFFING TIRED too, but that doesn't stop me from showing my butt up to take care of responsibilities. And I don't go from "oh, woe is me, I feel so shitty" to "OMG WE'RE PREGNANT TOGETHER! WE'RE GONNA BE PREGNANT BUDDIES AND OUR KIDS ARE GONNA PLAY TOGETHER AND ON AND ON AND BLAH BLAH BLAH FREAKING BLAH!" in less than 10 minutes. It just doesn't work. That just screams BIPOLAR to me. Just saying... So yes, I was rude. I rudely stated "Yeah. I know." and COMPLETELY turned around with my back to her. Why am I talking about this? Well. I suppose letting it out there that yeah, it happened, will save me from some random Karma later. Like super bad morning sickness tomorrow or something... (Can you tell I'm not very tolerant of bullshit, especially in my very hormonal state?)


On to some controversy!!

Please tell me why this image is considered "acceptable" in our society? Yeah, I get it. She has a nice body, even with the fake books and the complete and definite camel toe. We go to the beach, to the pool, and sometimes, even to WalMart and are greeted with people wearing things like this, often with MUCH worse bodies. 

However, these images are considered OBSCENE. 

Why is it that it's ok for someone to literally show off EVERY SINGLE THING, but it's not ok to COMPLETELY cover and feed your child? These women have bodies similar to that of the woman in the bikini, yet if they were in public doing the most natural thing a mother can do for her child next to giving birth, they will be looked down upon, talked about, and people will try to shelter their eyes from such obscenities. It's perfectly fine for even a 400 pound woman to show off tons of skin in inappropriate clothing, but a woman feeding her child? How horrible it is! You literally can't see a single thing with either of these women. You just, can't. Is it the thought of a baby on a boob that pisses people off so much? Do we really sexualize breasts so much that we can't even allow ourselves to think about a baby touching them? I mean, after all, we came with boobs to feed the babies. That's why they grow to make room for the milk, make the milk, and excrete the milk. It's also why a mother's milk is the absolute best thing an infant can have. Breast milk provides the baby with amazing nutrients that no powdered formula can even come close to, provides the mother with an AMAZING calorie burner, gives the baby mom's immunities which are better than vaccines (not that I'm dissing vaccines, just throwing you can't give anyone anything synthetic that comes close to breast milk), and helps mom in the long run by reducing her risk of breast cancer. Studies have also shown breast milk has been linked to higher intelligence and less childhood obesity


Why is this such a touchy topic for me? Well, I plan on giving my baby the boob. I want my child and myself to take FULL advantage of what my body is naturally made to do. I know this means it's gonna be a little more difficult for other people to feed the baby, but there are these awesome things called breast pumps made for milking mom. I fully plan on utilizing all resources available to help me feed my child the absolute breast (ha ha, get it?) thing I can.


Now that I've said this, I want you all to know I want nothing but support in this journey! I don't want to be told how horrible it is or how much it's going to hurt or "Oh, Shandi... People are gonna look at you so weird." I know they will. I don't care. In the end, I know my child will have the best possible start I can give him/her because I am cool with the boob. I can handle the "bad press", as long as my child gets what he/she needs. I want everyone else to be cool with my boobs too, because I'm sure at one point or another if you're around when the baby is hungry, you'll probably see a nipple. Oh noes... Let's all jump off a cliff because someone saw a nip slip!

Blog Award!

First off, I'd like to say thanks to Rochelle over at Simply Rochelle for the blog award!

Here are the rules for the acceptance of the award:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

Rule number 1, check. Here goes Rule number 2.

1) I'm 25 and in nursing school. Its rough at times, but I love it. I love the people I see every day (well, most of them anyway), and I love knowing I'm going to be helping people. It makes me very, very happy.

2) I'm currently pregnant. I literally found out just over a week ago. I'm excited, and super nervous. My boobs already hurt like a bitch, and morning sickness sucks but isn't as bad as I expected.

3) This is my second pregnancy. Last summer, my husband and I had our very first pregnancy. However, it wasn't so great. I went to the doctor because I had been on my period for 4 weeks and was having a lot of pain. I had taken a test before my period started, and it was negative. I was tired and SUPER cranky. So the doctor decides to test me for a UTI. On a hunch, she did a pregnancy test along with it. Well, it was positive. Not a good sign that I had been bleeding for 4 weeks....  My sister and I left there and went straight to the hospital where my husband met us. We had blood drawn and an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was incredibly rude and unimaginably rough with my already tender vagina, uterus, and ovaries. She then proceeded to tell me that there was no baby, and I shouldn't waste her time. I called my doctor immediately. From what I understand, that tech no longer works there... This all went down on a Friday. On Sunday, I had blood drawn again. My HcG levels didn't double. In fact, they only raised by 3 points from 146 to 149. I'll never forget how completely devastated I felt. Monday morning I had more blood drawn, and Monday afternoon found me at an Oncology office to receive a shot of methotrexate to terminate the pregnancy.

4) I have 4 dogs and a cat. I love them all very much, and they are children to me. Some people don't get it. That's fine... I just love them all and couldn't imagine not being with them. Pets are throwaway items to have when they're all cute and little and not watch them grow up into amazing adults. My Sweetie will be 6 this year, and she is an amazing dog. I know she's going to be a TON of help when the Peanut gets here! Sophie, Bella, and Duchess will all probably be extremely jealous, but it's expected. Dude aka Homie is all chill, and my biggest issue with him will be keeping him out of the crib. :)

5) My husband and I were married August 28, 2008, in the front part of BSC-Net in Jonesboro, Arkansas. We totally and completely eloped. My mom was there with us with a cake and a rose, and we went to Chili's to celebrate after. I would've liked the whole wedding, reception, and amazing honeymoon, but money was an issue for us at that time. We may have a vow renewal in a few years where we do all of that. We'll see. ;)

6) I grew up in a super small town that earns funny looks and giggles when I spout of the name of it. Yes, yes. I know. I laugh too. I grew up in Weiner, Arkansas. Yes. Weiner. Wee-ner. Laughing feels so great!

7) I'm a nerd. I play Dungeons and Dragons with a group of friends. Yes, the actual we have our paper and roll the dice while we're all sitting around in a group with books and stuff version. Not the online, play on your computer version. I also play World of Warcraft. I've met some super interesting people from WoW. 

Awarding other bloggers... That's hard. Mostly because I don't really know many other bloggers... So I have 1, since Rochelle already gave me an award. :)

Brooke over at Brookenomicon. She's an awesome lady who writes about writing!